I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
