fuck your aforementioned shoe
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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