Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
