my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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