yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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