I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
