Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
