OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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