then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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