My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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