Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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