come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
