I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
and eventually we just all took our pants off
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
