oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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