It's a beautiful day for a hangover
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize