We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
whose ass print is on the piano?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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