george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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