Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
