So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
