So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
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He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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