Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
