She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
