Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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