I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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