sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize