Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
