We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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