the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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