i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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