She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
