I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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