I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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