I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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