If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im holly from the hills drunk
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
