Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
