No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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