dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
