I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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