discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober