honey bunches of taint.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
