I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i wish my penis had a tongue
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?