Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
