Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
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I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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