Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
