according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
