She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
