Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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