You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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