Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
