I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
