Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

why does my vagina smell like weed?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

omg thats a great idea

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(303): View more from Colorado

i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around

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(815): View more from Illinois

drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.

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(512): View more from Texas

You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.

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(440): View more from Ohio

If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am

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(330): View more from Ohio

lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.

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