dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Your cock deserves a montage
We don't watch enough power rangers
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
