When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
