how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
