So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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