hotel room ftw
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
