I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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