Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
