I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
