At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
