If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my poor anus
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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