i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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