im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
