im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
