the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
